END OF THE WEEK:
We are now officially over with our final full week of January 2011. Man, that was fast! Just seemed like yesterday that the NFL playoff picture was about to be finalized, Ricky Gervais remained relatively quiet in the pop culture world and homeless people with wonderful radio voices were a relatively unknown minority. Oh, well. Time is pretty short like that, I suppose. Anyways, here are is the new installment of my weekly column where I decide which thing to happen during a certain week was better than others, this time featuring the annual US State of the Union address, Charlie Sheen and the question of whether or not a certain NFL quarterback is a big, sloppy west pussy. OK, here we go...
Salmon Joke of the Week: The 2011 State of the Union address given by President Obama had it many share of important and/or memorable moments of note. You had the President reference education and technological development as "this generation's Sputnik moment." You had him gloat in the passing of Don't Ask, Don't Tell and the last fighting troops leaving Iraq while addressing the constant bickering of the two parties that, despite all the arguments and yelling, that there isn't a single person in the room who would want to live in a different country right now. You had both Republicans and Democrats sitting together instead of being separated into two different sides of the room like they've usually done. And then you had the usual slate of John Boehner tears, introduction of some notable regular Americans like Plan B creator Brandon Fisher and Mrs. "That's me!" herself, Kathy Proctor. Republicans reading something completely miscellaneous in protest as well as the constant applauses and standing ovations. But the most delightful moment of the night came in the middle of the speech, where the President paused to discuss the incompetency and inefficiency of the government, complete with a light salmon joke that will rank up there in history as one of the greatest (and cleanest) of all-time, hyperbole aside:
"Let me take this one step further. We shouldn’t just give our people a government that’s more affordable. We should give them a government that’s more competent and more efficient. We can’t win the future with a government of the past. (Applause.)
We live and do business in the Information Age, but the last major reorganization of the government happened in the age of black and white TV. There are 12 different agencies that deal with exports. There are at least five different agencies that deal with housing policy. Then there's my favorite example: The Interior Department is in charge of salmon while they're in fresh water, but the Commerce Department handles them when they're saltwater. (Laughter). I hear it gets even more complicated once they're smoked. (Laughter and applause)."
I'm surprised that Obama didn't use that joke as a reason to suddenly debut his post Presidency stand-up routine. I heard that his jokes on John Boehner's orange skin is a riot!
Video of the Week: "Michael Scott Meets David Brent on 'The Office'"
This week (and, really, the last two weeks) featured a plethora of great viral videos from the greatest miniature golf shot of all-time to the most epic action movie ever courtesy of our good friends in India to Tracy Morgan's naughty thoughts on Sarah Palin and much, much more. But as a big fan of "The Office" (both U.K. and U.S.) and Ricky Gervais in general, neither of these videos mentioned produced the same amount of pure awesomeness and enjoyment that I had then when I saw Michael Scott (played by Steve Carell) meeting his U.K. counterpart from the British version of the show, David Brent (played by Gervais) and eventually sharing a "That's what she said" joke that quickly led them to becoming good pals. It was a moment nearly six years in the making, and when it finally did occur it was a minute of pure perfection, one that completely made up for some of the flaws that the later portion of the episodes had. I was a bit surprised that Brent didn't end up addressing the cameras or why he was there in the first place, but that's just being too nit-picky.
Stories of the Week:
-The Actual Story of the Week: The Uprising in Egypt
First Tunisia, and now this. I can't help but feel that either Iran or Libya will be next.
- The Tiger Woods Saga of '09 Memorial Story of the Week: Man Defecates in Store, Steals Candy Before Leaving and Lashes Out at Schoolchildren
Please! Matthew Clemens does that on an average Tuesday!
Question of the Week: Jay Cutler's Toughness
Despite the fact that many did not know of Cutler's MCL tear until after the game, many fans and former NFL players still proceeded to question whether Cutler quit during the NFC Championship game by not coming back onto the field during the third quarter and that they SO would not have done that even if their team's entire offensive line proceeded to carry them off the field. Then again, I wonder if all of this has to do with Cutler's reputation of being a douche and not because of his actual play.
Person of the Week: Charlie Sheen
He did it again, folks! This past week, Sheen, star of the wildly and questionably popular "Two and a Half Men" and just three months removed from his last infamous night with a pornstar, was in the news again thanks to another crazy night of drugs and partying. According to TMZ, it came when Sheen was rushed to the hospital around 7 a.m. after suffering through severe abdominal pains. The visit to Cedars-Sinai hospital in Los Angeles came after Sheen ran a wild 36 hour bender with not one pornstar, but two this time. Were drugs involved? Yup, a briefcase full of cocaine, in fact, with Sheen continuously smoking it through a green pipe for many hours. Just when you think the man couldn't outdo himself, he goes ahead and proves us wrong.
Sheen's recent debauchery has drove him into rehab for the second consecutive year, forcing the production of "Two and a Half Men" to temporarily shut down in the process. You know, as sad as this situation may be for his friends and family, I can't help but feel strangely in awe of the man's self destruction. He's the highest paid actor in all of television with a life that has made him a tabloid hit, and yet he still doesn't care. In fact, I'm pretty sure that once this new rehab stint is over he will once again go back to his recent drug binges and wild night with adult film stars while continuing to not care what anyone else thinks, all while being a true professional on the THM set since he always seems to do that.
And, that's the way it is! Enjoy the rest of your weekend, everybody!
Sincerely,
Your pal: mj15
If you have any opinions on today's post, or if you just have any suggestions or
tips for my next blog entry, e-mail me at: mj1599@aol.com. Your e-mails are greatly appreciated.
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