END OF THE WEEK:
Much like when Tiger Woods dominated my "End of the Week" columns in late 2009 and when the BP Oil Spill dominated much of the "End of the Week" columns spring of 2010, this week's installment (just like last week) will be dominated from top to bottom with the latest parodies, interviews, fantastic quotes and happenings in the world of Charlie Sheen. After all, how can I not? Ever since the infamous radio interview last week that forced CBS into canceling the rest of the season of "Two and a Half Men," the man has allowed the world to step inside his wacky and drug-induced world in a way that you can't help but look away, all while purposely putting on a great show and just daring CBS to fire him as soon as possible (UPDATE 03/07: Sheen has now been officially terminated by the show). What more can you possibly want from a Hollywood celebrity, America? Better yet, can you think of another time that someone as famous as Sheen has done what he has just done this week, with the public interviews to the serious tones of his answers to his use of the media to both portray the real side him without any sugarcoating? I don't think so.
But while Sheen will be the main focus of this week's installment, he won't be the only thing mentioned. There's also the latest development in the NFL's CBA negotiations, a college basketball player suspended for having consensual sex with his girlfriend, and, on a sadder note, a sad ending to a high school basketball playoff game, among other things. So sit back, put on some reading glasses, and let's get this winning underway. As always, here are my picks for some of the week's best, worst, and most memorable stuff:
Spot-on Impersonation of the Week: "Charlie Sheen: 'Winning for Men'" on "Late Night with Jimmy Fallon"
This is like when Tina Fey brilliantly impersonated Sarah Palin during the '08 Presidential election, in that the writers didn't need to write any new material for the sketch when all they needed to do was to just repeat actual quotes from the person they're parodying.
U.S. District Judge of the Week: David Doty
for making the biggest court ruling of the year involving the current collective bargaining agreement dispute between NFL owners and the NFLPA. In it, Doty struck down the NFL's newly constructed TV deal that would have given the league and the team owners roughly $4 billion this season, even if there was a lockout. While this ruling doesn't officially mean that this lockout is officially not going to happen and that the new CBA is going to be agreed to any second now, it at least gives the owners the incentive to actually try to negotiate a new deal now that they don't have those advantageous billions in cash to pocket in case the players don't agree to their demands. It also gives the players the opportunity to further boost their support since they now have clear evidence to show NFL fans that the owners have been planning for a lockout all along. Thanks, you ol' coot!
Old Man of the Week: 94 Year Old Kirk Douglas, during the 83rd Academy Awards
I think we know who the frontrunner is to host next year's show!
(Click here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Dz4OsP5D14)
TV/Radio Interviews of the Week: Charlie Sheen on 20/20, Piers Morgan Tonight, The Howard Stern Show and The Early Show
If Sheen's interview on the Alex Jones Show is what lit the fire, then it were these interviews that made the fire grow exponentially.
Video of the Week: "Baby Laughs Hysterically at Ripping Paper"
(Ed. note: Technically, this video was uploaded to the Internet in late January. However, it gained millions of viewers and popularity this week, so it counts.) Because in a week dominated by a self-centered Hollywood celebrity, we need a little innocent to counter it. Also, because I think she will make a great secretary for Goldman Sachs.
Stories of the Week:
-The Actual Story of the Week (besides the chaos in Libya): U.S. Gas Prices Up 33 Cents in Two Weeks
If it's around 4 dollars now, I would hate to see it during Memorial Day weekend if the situation in Libya continues.
-The Tiger Woods Saga of '09 Memorial Story of the Week: BYU Basketball Player Brandon Davies Suspended For Having Sex With His Girlfriend
While mocking BYU for this unusual and slightly hypocritical honor code rule is fun, I still think that we should respect the school for doing what they did. After all, Davies agreed to the code once he enrolled into BYU and knew about it being a boy that grew up near the school. So, the fact that he broke the rule does not mean that we should feel sympathetic towards him. Besides, he could always transfer to a school that doesn't have these morality regulations in place.
Saddest Moment of the Week: High School Basketball Player Dies After Hitting Game Winning Shot
This is like the script for a Disney movie, if that Disney movie was written by George Pelecanos
Catchphrase of the Week: "Winning," a.k.a. the word that Charlie Sheen is trying really hard to become a trend (and it's working!).
People of the Week: CBS and Warner Bros. Executives
Choosing Sheen as my Person of the Week would be too easy. Instead, I decided that, if there's anyone who should be put responsibility on for this past week of Sheen madness (besides Mr. F-18, of course), shouldn't it be these guys for canceling the remainder of "Two and a Half Men" season eight? After all, you could argue that had they not done so then there wouldn't have been his reply to TMZ,which in turn led to his interviews with the media personal mentioned earlier and almost every national TV station, which in turn led to his instant classic quotations and the public introduction of his "goddesses," which in turn led to his Twitter account being born (and that atrocious UStream telecast) which in turn led to him being the most talked about and most mocked at Hollywood celebrity of the week. So thank you all, middle-aged and rich TV executives! You helped bring the fascination, enigma and disillusionment of Sheen at an all-time high, and for that I salute you.
And that's the way it was for this, the first week of March 2011! Enjoy the rest of your weekend, and don't forget to choose those vices!
Sincerely,
Your pal: mj15
P.S., I will stop with these forced uses of Sheen catchphrases as soon as it loses it's trendiness. I swear!
If you have any opinions on today's post, or if you just have any suggestions or
tips for my next blog entry, e-mail me at: mj1599@aol.com. Your e-mails are greatly appreciated.
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