RANDOM THOUGHTS:
The following were on my mind between Tuesday, March 29th and Monday, April 4th:
- So, I guess that AMC is now at an unprecedented 5 for 5 in original programming thanks to the premiee of "The Killing." The pilot was simply fantastic, from the show's blatant rejection of certain police procedural cliches to its focus on the grievances of those affected by the murder of Rosie Larsen (something that not many other crime shows on TV do) to its beautiful cinematography that can match up with other current and former AMC shows like "Breaking Bad" and "Rubicon" (that channel sure has some pretty-looking shows, don't they) to the stellar acting from most of the cast, specifically from Brent Sexton and Michelle Burns as Rosie's parents and Mireille Enos as the main character/cop, Sarah Linden. The fact that AMC decided to air the show's first top episodes back-to-back made its premiere more enjoyable as I felt that the second episode, "The Cage," really made up for some of the flaws that the pilot had. Yes, sir, I am definitely on board with this show for the rest of the season.
- I can't wait for the news to come out 22 years from now that Svedka Vodka is, in fact, not voted the best vodka of the year 2033.
- 24 runs in their first three games...oh, if only the White Sox could play against the Cleveland Indians every game!
- Are we sure that this Saturday's episode of "Saturday Night Live" wasn't secretly co-hosted by Tom Hanks?
- ESPN has got to stop trying to make Sunday Night Baseball like the Monday Night Football of America's past time. I don't know about you, but whenever I watch it every week I don't get the feeling like I'm watching some huge television event.
-You know, the new Pizza Hut ultimate stuffed crust pizza sounds vaguely familiar. Oh, right...(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uPxOxfOLUyk)
- Thank goodness that this whole "Mad Men" renewal dispute between creator Matt Weiner and AMC is finally over. I was really starting to get pissed off by both sides for delaying the show until at least March 2012, with Weiner apparently wanting David Chase money for the show that has earned less ratings and commercial success for "The Sopranos" and with the network head apparently becoming really greedy since the startling success of "The Walking Dead." Again, good to know that the show has finally been renewed for at least two more season.
- So, is Will Arnett trying to break Jerry O'Connell's record of amount of short-lived shows, or should I expect his new pilot with Christina Applegate and Maya Rudolph to actually be good?
So, there you have it for now. More to come next week. And now, here are my choices for the best, the worst, and the most memorable people, news and events from the month of March...
END OF THE MONTH:
Catchphrase of the Month: Charlie Sheen's "Winning" (a.k.a. #winning)
Kind of amazing how quick this Charlie Sheen craze just came and went this month. When March began, the United States couldn't get enough of the recent happenings in the life of this "Two and a Half Men" star, turning his TV and radio interviews into top stories, flocking to his Twitter account and, of course, using his version of the adjective turned to a common noun more than the actual use of the word before the month began. But then, the war in Libya and the earthquake in Japan happened, and the Internet became dominant by a newer, much younger female celebrity which we will get to later, and all of a sudden this sensation with Sheen, pornstar goddesses and his latest quotes have taken a (temporary) backseat. But at least we will always have that memory of that precious week in our minds.
Bully Fighter of the Month: 16 Year Old Casey Heynes
thanks to this epic body slam takedown of his 12 year old bully on tape. Let this be a lesson to all of you aspiring bullies in the future: why pick on someone bigger than you when their are much smaller, much shorter people you can do that to. Oh, and don't do it, or there's a good chance that the person you bully can snap and strike back. But, more realistically, the former. YOU DA MAN, CASEY!
Meltdown of the Month: Singer Chris Brown on the Set of "Good Morning America"
So, it's safe to assume that the man's anger management lessons haven't paid off, yes?
Mugshot of the Month: That of 21 Yr. Old David C. Davis
I've said it before, and I've said it again: nothing beats a mugshot with a guy that has a frantically finished half-fro.
Videos of the Month (For What Was a Fantastic March Virally):
-This Month in Cute Babies: Boy, March sure had some great videos in the "cute babies" category, didn't it? By my count, three of the five installments of "End of the Week" featured at least one little youngster doing something that earned it Video of the Week. Plus, let's also forget about some of the cute baby videos that didn't win a title but were still very enjoyable. In no particular, here are this viral videos that I have mentioned...
"Baby Laughs Hysterically at Ripping Paper" (VofW for week of 03/01)
"Emerson- Mommy's Nose is Scary" (VofW for week of 03/13)
"Baby Doesn't Give a F***"
"Twin Baby Boys Argument" (VofW for week of 03/27)
We have quite a promising generation in our hands, my friends. A promising generation, indeed.
- The Most Appropriate for This Month: "Great Moments in History With Gus Johnson"
Is there anything left to say about the man other than that he's so good that you want him to play-by-play your entire life? I don't think so.
-The Best Impersonation: Jimmy Fallon in the 'Late Night' Sketch "Charlie Sheen's 'Winning for Men.'"
It's every comic writer's dream: have someone say funny or dumb stuff, copy them all on a sheet of paper, and using them to create a funny sketch starring someone who just looks like the person they're making fun of. It worked with "Saturday Night Live" when they had Tina Fey impersonate Sarah Palin during the '08 election, and it works here..beautifully.
-The Coolest: "First Person Mario"
It's like the actual airplay of Super Mario Bros. with the first person viewpoint of your average shooting game. And if you pause and press 1, you can see Princess Peach haunting us! Ooh, the horror! Well done, freddiew. Well done.
-The Wackiest Old Coot: "Kirk Douglas at the 2011 Oscars"
I see this once great actor, coming on the stage of the Academy Award to crack a few jokes and act like a stereotypical old man...and I feel laughter running down my face. Why couldn't he just replace Hathaway and Franco for the rest of the night...I don't know.
-The Best (Fake) Trailer: "Boston Movie Trailer"
"Just look at howah superiah owah movies ar-ah t yowah movies! Damon! Affleck! Marky Mark! Scorsese! That faggot DiCaprio! Name another town as gritty and rich as Boston that could bring such a rich crop of actors as owah movies. You can't! NO ONE DENIES THIS."
Boston Movie Trailer - watch more funny videos
- The Craziest: "Crazy Announcer Calls Craziest Ending to Basketball Game"
And to think, this was a matchup for seventh place in the division standings! Imagine what the announcer would've done had the game had much more meaning!
-The Weirdest: "Android on Crack...lol"
Now I understand the real secret behind my Sprint HTC EVO's awesome productivity and quick 4G speed.
-The Most Adorably Racist/Retro:"Mary Kate and Ashley-Adorably Racist"
Don't worry, the saxophone player wasn't shocked by the possibly racist gesture. He was just shocked at how he only got two pieces of chicken.
-The Funniest: "Creepy Cricket Fan"
He's just used as a ploy to divert attraction from the guy picking his nose and rubbing his pickings on his cheek. Either that, or to take our souls away.
-The Most Spellbinding: Footage of the Japanese Earthquake/Tsunami
In the words of Vin Scully, "If a picture lasts a thousand words, you have seen about a million of them." The images of this month's devastating earthquake/tsunami in Japan, though as catastrophic as they are, are nothing short of incredible. They're also images that, like other huge natural disasters of the past, simply make you ponder in amazement at the sheer destruction that Mother Nature and the Earth is able to impose on humans in this planet. May this nation recover as quickly as possible.
Deaths of the Month:
-Elizabeth Taylor. A once in a generation, hell, once in a century, movie star, mixing both great acting talents with gorgeous beauty.. She will be greatly missed.
-Knut The Polar Bear. That's right, the main attraction at the Berlin zoo that captivated the world with its cuteness as a young cub in early 2007 died this past month with what autopsies are calling a simple case of drowning. The world is officially a more depressing place with his departure.
Girlfriend of the Month: Alyse Lahti Johnson, 22 yr. old girlfriend of Tiger Woods
Look, it's not like Woods wasn't going to have a relationship with somebody at some point, so let's just be glad that this reveal is already over with. By the way, not a bad choice for Woods' current circumstance if I do say so myself. Young, party animal, promiscuous...she's the exact opposite of Elin Nordergen at this stage in time and something that you would expect Woods to date with his new sex-addict and skirt chaser reputation.
Quote of the Month: When it comes to wonderful quotes, no one provided the world with better ones than good ol' Charlie Sheen during his media interviewing binge early this month. From talking about how awesome he is to sharing personal information about his drug habits, the Sheen quote machine was endless. So, as expected, choosing one great quote out of all of them was a challenge. For some of the honorable mentions, click here or here. But for my money, the magnus opus of all of this month's memorable Sheen quotes came during his one hour interview special on ABC's "20/20":
"I am on a drug-it's called Charlie Sheen.It's not available,but if you try it you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body."
Awesome. Thank you, Mr. Sheen, for your magnificent list of quotable sentences. But most importantly, thank you, Sheen's anonymous dealer. Without you, I'm certain that Sheen's lunacy would not be possible.
Voicemail Message of the Month: "Love at First Sight"
Oh well, at least didn't come off as desperate.
Stories of the Month:
-The Most Devastating: An 8.9 Magnitude Earthquake and Tsunami Devastates Japan
-The Saddest: Fennville High School Basketball Player Dies After Hitting Team's Game Winning Basket
Worst. Possible Disney movie pitch. Ever.
-The Unluckiest: Man Loses Out on Share of $319 Million After Not Pitching In For Ticket
The good news: guess who's getting a company promotion?
- The Best Close-Call: Couple on Blind Date Find Out They're Brother and Sister
Thank goodness it happened during dinner, and not in breakfast. Am I right, folks?
-The Most Pleasantly Surprising: #8 Seed Butler and #11 Seed Virginia Commonwealth Advances to the NCAA Tournament Final Four
"This proves nothing."- BCS Chairman Bill Hancock.
- The Bravest: Young Adult Couple Have Sex on Top of USC Campus Rooftop
Hmm, suspension for the frat. guy...or a bunch of high fives? THAT is the question.
- The Best Talent: Pennsylvania Woman Hides 54 Bags of Heroine, Money in Her Vagina
Forget "The Office," this is probably the best portrayal of Scranton woman there is.
-The Most Interesting in the World of Celibacy: BYU Basketball Player Brandon Davies Gets Suspended After Having Sex With Girlfriend
Mormons! (shakes fist at Utah).
- The Most Anti-Semetic: Fashion Designer John Galliano Goes on Anti-Semetic Rant Caught on Camera
That seems to be the great link between every Gentile in the world. If you have a conversation with someone long enough, there's a good chance that one of them will change the topic to that person talking about how they hate Jews.
- The One That Got the U.S. Involved in a Third War: U.S. Fighter Pilots Bomb Libya To Enforce U.N. No-Fly Zone
Oh, can't we finish the first two wars first! This country is like the majority of my nephews and their Pepsi cans. They also start drinking the can, but never finish it all the way, only to start drinking a new Pepsi can soon after.
Song of the Month: "Friday" by Rebecca Black
Expect anything different? 80 million hits on YouTube (and counting) in just one month, the most disliked video in Internet history with 1,650,000 dislikes on YouTube (and counting), called by many as one of the worst songs ever created, has made Black an Internet celebrity that has single-handily diminished the current buzz and trendiness of Justin Bieber and the Charlie Sheen hoopla, and a video so bad that it may have inspired the greatest collection of parody videos ever (as if the past three installments of "End of the Week" haven't provided enough evidence). And to think, it all started with her parents paying Ark Music Factory with a $2,000 check to give their 13 year old daughter a chance to star in a music video..
People of the Month: The Fukushima 50
In a month that has been dominated from people like Muammar Gaddafi, Charlie Sheen, and Rebecca Black, it's important to take a step back and honor certain brave people that are dedicating their lives towards certain brave tasks. In the case of the 50 workers at the dysfunctional Fukushima nuclear power plant in Japan, it is working around the clock to contain any possible meltdown at the area so as to protect the area, and the country. I, among many others, praise these top men and women in the field for doing just that.
-Runners-up: Charlie Sheen, Rebecca Black, Muammar Gadaffi, Barack Obama, Roger Goodell &DeMaurice Smith, those who donated to the relief efforts in Japan.
And...that's gonna do it! Thanks for maintaining your interest throughout this lengthy post. I will be back in the next few days with what I'm sure will be a special treat for you readers. Until then, enjoy the start of your workweek!
Sincerely,
Your pal: mj15
If you have any opinions on today's post, or if you just have any suggestions or
tips for my next blog entry, e-mail me at: mj1599@aol.com. Your e-mails are greatly appreciated.
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