The following post was a live blog of the 63rd Primetime Emmy Awards, held on the night of September 18th, 2011. It was written between 6:15 p.m. and 10:00 p.m. central standard time.
The top personalities in the television business are all gathering inside the Nokia Theatre in Los Angeles at this very moment, which can only mean one thing: it's officially Emmys time! No more wait, no more predicting, and no more speculating in general. Time to finally see which shows and individuals the Academy of Television Arts & Sciences decided to honor this year with awards that, if used as a weapon, could really kill another person with its pointy wing edges, with some self-congratulatory praises thrown in between. "Glee" star Jane Lynch, who herself is nominated for an award tonight, is hosting the festivities, while I will be sitting on a couch some 2,000 miles away with labtop in hand giving you, precious reader, live updates of every major proceedings for the next four hours. As always, feel free to share your own opinions in the comments section.
We're officially less than an hour away from the show starting! Let's begin:
6:15 p.m.- If any of you seriously are in need of a pretty people in expensive dresses fix, FOX, and E! are all hosting their own red carpet shows. Twenty-four year old Evan Rachel Wood just admits that she's a big Justin Bieber fan. We're off to a fantastic start!
6:16 p.m.- I don't think that capturing a bunch of photos of Blake Lively is the best use of the Samsung 360 degree cam, E!. But then again, you're the network that is still giving Chelsea Handler a job, so I'm not really all that surprised.
6:17 p.m.- Breaking news: Zooey Deschanel is still adorable.
6:23 p.m.- Before I go any further, here's one final look at the Emmys prediction that I did back in July:
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
So far, I'm 7-5 with 23 more awards left to be decided. Alan Cummings is wearing his red pajamas to the show. Either he doesn't think that he's going to win, or he just doesn't give a crap. Either way, I approve!
6:28 p.m.- Taking a break from all this red carpet watching to switch over to NFL RedZone. No offense to E!, but I'd much rather watch the Cowboys-49ers game play in overtime than seeing Ryan Seacrest give Gwyneth Paltrow a minute to talk about how awesome she is.
6:31 p.m.- It's official: Cowboys win in overtime after being down by ten points late in the fourth quarter. Jessee Holley is one happy guy right now. Now back to red carpet shows...ooh! Hello there, Sofia Vergara!
6:35 p.m.- Watching Ryan Seacrest's interview with Rob Lowe, I get an even better sense as to why the guy suspiciously nominated himself for Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy Series.
6:37 p.m.- What are the odds of Jane Lynch being involved in a "Glee" parody for the award show's opening? I'd give it a 540% chance.
6:45 p.m.- Fifteen more minutes! And now it's time for me to remind everyone reading this that no matter how bad the winners are, no matter how many undeserving accolations shows like "Harry's Law" and "Glee" get (which it might, you never know), to not be angry at the Academy of Television for any of their selections. After all, this is the Emmys we're talking about, an award show voted on by people working in television who for the better part of the year do not watch a lot of television. Grant it, they're not Hollywood Foreign Press bad, but still bad enough to give, say, more awards to "Flash Forward" than "The Wire" or have "The Big Bang Theory" nominated for Outstanding Comedy Series. Reserve your frustrations for something more important, like the economy or Jay Leno.
6:49 p.m.- Nina Dobrev is so hot, I would like to take her out to dinner and tell her how intelligent she is!
6:51 p.m.- Both of the red carpet shows are winding down, which means we're now edging ever so close to the FOX broadcast of the show. Speaking of attractive looking ladies, the fact that I did not see Christina Hendricks once on either FOX or E! makes both of their red carpet shows officially a failure in this viewer's opinion.
6:55 p.m.- FIVE MOTHERF@CKING MINUTES LEFT!
6:59 p.m.- ONE MOTHERF@CkING MINUTE LEFT!
7:00 p.m.-
7:01 p.m.- And we're off (at last)...with Jane Lynch talking to Leonard Nimoy! You talk about a grand opening, that was the epitome of!
7:03 p.m.- Even at the Emmys, the characters of "The Big Bang Theory" need to actually use a laugh track to hide the fact that their jokes are not funny at all.
7:05 p.m.- So, in the past three minutes we saw Ron Swanson (oh, why is this the only time we will hear him mentioned!), the "Mythbusters" guys, the casts of "Friday Night Lights" and "Mad Men" featuring Don Draper in disgust-mode, the meta-nod in which Jane Lynch recognized the fact that only the mediocre shows (like "Glee") are cash cows. While this opening number has been pretty dull with some bad, predictable writing, it certainly has had its few moments of awesome. I think that I just might be able to tolerate these next three hours. I think...
7:07 p.m.- As expected, Betty White gets the most love from the show's audience. Her "In Memorian" is going to break millions of applause records when she finally passes away in 2325.
7:08 p.m.- Oh, Joel McHale and Zachary Levi! Both of you are talented guys. Why must you degrade yourseldf by singing along with the so-called "Emmy-tones" with Meredith from "The Office" and Wilmer Valderrama? Why?
7:09 p.m.- Now that's we're done with Lynch's opening number and monologue, it's time to finally get down to business, starting with the comedy awards (Ed. note: not to be confused with Comedy Central's Comedy Awards). As I write this, they're showing a highlights of the year in the genre. Such a shame that this is the only time that "Community" is ever going to be mentioned.
7:12 p.m.- I see that the show dropped Jon Hodgman as its announcer tonight. Too bad, simple as that.
7:13 p.m.- After the two late night Jimmys (Kimmel and Fallon) "fought" each other on stage for Fallon's acceptance speech envelope, we were finally treated to our first winner of the night. And that winner is..."Modern Family's" Julie Bowen for Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series! Wait, what? Seriously? The one that played the least likeable "Modern Family" character from season two? Wow, I actually did not see that one coming, especially considering how White and Lynch were all nominated for the same award. Good speech by Bowen, though, highlighted by her joking that she will have nothing to talk about to her therapist.
7:16 p.m.- Another bright side about Bowen's win: a main cast-member of "Happy Gilmore" that's much more talented than Adam Sandler has won an award in their lifetime.
7:18 p.m.- Another "Modern Family" win, and to someone on the show I actually like from the show! This time it goes to Ty Burrell for Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series. A wonderful speech by Burrell, talking about how his late father would react to winning an award acting in a funny and light-hearted matter. This and Bowen's win means that "Modern Family" is now officially half-way through to giving each of their adult actors an award.
7:19 p.m.- The "Modern Family" Emmys brought to you by "Modern Family" is taking its first commercial break. The voiceover lady just posed the question of whether Jim Parsons or Steve Carell will win Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy Series, officially ending any of the other four nominees' chances of winning.
7:26 p.m.- At last, Ricky Gervais (a.k.a. my favorite Emmys presenter) has made his annual appearance at the show, and once again it was brilliant. Making fun of his Golden Globes hosting stint back in January, Gervais is introduced in a "pre-recorded" bit (because he's not allowed in the country anymore, apparently) in which the award show "edited" every single controversial thing that he said, including "And I want to thank God for making me an...absolute idiot." Seriously, can this guy just host every awards show on the planet?
7:33 p.m.- More "Modern Family" love! Michael Alan Spiller wins an award for Outstanding Director for his work directing the episode "Halloween." while Steve Levitan and Jeffrey Richman win Outstanding Writing for the episode "Caught in the Act." This little show that could continues to strike gold. Seriously though, why doesn't the show just go ahead and give them the award for Outstanding Comedy Series right now instead of just prolonging the award to the very end? It's not like anyone else actually believes that they're going to lose at this point.
7:35 p.m.- I can't wait to see Jon Hamm's face when he sees "Modern Family' win Outstanding Actor in a Drama Series instead of him.
7:36 p.m.- Tip of the night: go to your nearest 7/11 right now and buy a lottery ticket. Enter the numbers MODERN FAMILY. I'm sure that you will some money.
7:37 p.m.- Wanna hear another "Modern Family" joke while we're waiting for commercials to end? Okay! (clears throat): I wonder if ABC is counting tonight's Emmys as a season three episode of "Modern Family" or not.
7:39 p.m.- Why do I hint the taste of tiger blood all of a sudden?
7:40 p.m.- Awww, look at Sheen being all humble and whatnot! It's like that entire February never happened (cue Edna Krabbapel saying "He's faking it"). And now it's time to see who wins Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy Series? Will this finally be Steve Carell's year? God, I hope so!
7:41 p.m.- WHAT?!?! JIM PARSONS?!?! OK, I know I told you guys an hour ago to not be angry, but this rule is officially suspended in this case. That, in all seriousness, was complete and utter BS. Maybe if he was an actor on "Modern Family" instead...
7:44 p.m.- Seriously. No Emmy for Steve Carell...at all. Are you telling me that the Emmy voters watched this man play the role of Michael Scott brilliantly for six years and not once decided that he deserved the award?!?! Not even now, when it was this guy's last chance and after he submitted his wonderful performance in "Goodbye, Michael"?!?! BOOOOOOO!
7:48 p.m.- I got so angry at Carell not winning tonight that I forgot that the show was going on. Anyways, after a great moment in which all of the nominees came up on stage once their name was called, Melissa McCarthy wins the awards for Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy Series for "Bridesmaids," I mean "Mike and Molly." The good news about this is that we won't get to see Laura Linney accepting this award, the bad news is that we should all just prepare ourselves for a Kathy Bates victory in the coming minutes. Watching tonight's show, it seems more like a lock to happen with the passing of each award given.
7:51 p.m.- I find it a bit suspicious that a promo for "Bridesmaids" on DVD came right after McCarthy's acceptance speech. Conspiracy, anyone?
7:55 p.m.- Roger Sterling, Jessee Pinkman, and Leslie Knope are just some TV characters that were involved in a funny bit featuring the cast of "The Office" dealing with those characters as their new co-workers. It was pretty funny, but I'm a little sad now knowing that none of these scenarios will actually happen on the show, especially the Creed-Pinkman friendship. That, if done right, could be the greatest work of fan fiction come to life.
And now, with Outstanding Comedy Series moved back to the end of the show, time to focus our attention to the Reality/Variety Series genres...
8:01 p.m.- "The Amazing Race" wins the award for Outstanding Reality Competition Program. Strange. i figured that their reign of supremacy was over when "Top Chef" beat them for the award last year. looks like that was just a one time thing, apparently.
8:02 p.m.- Sorry, new Emmys announcer guy, but no matter how sarcastic tyou try to be you will still never be as good as Jon Hodgman ever was. Just stick to your day job from now on, whatever that is.
8:05 p.m.- As we head to commercial, we find out that "The Daily Show" wins the award for Outstanding Writing in a Variety, Music or Comedy Series. Will this be the only time we see this show win tonight? Only a few more minutes until we find out!
8:11 p.m.- "Lonely Island...Michael Bolton..." Oh hells, yeah!
8:12 p.m.- The old people in the audience must be really confused right now.
8:13 p.m.- Abortions for some, humping William H. Macy for everyone else!
8:14 p.m.- In all seriousness, this Lonely Island performance was pretty spectacular. Although, it really would've been better had the entire audience sung along to the chorus of "I Just Had Sex."
8:18 p.m.- After some guy from "Saturday Night Live" won the award for Outstanding Directing in a Variety, Music or Comedy Series, "The Daily Show" picked up the big award in the category for the ninth year in a row. While I do enjoy the show, if there was any case to retire nominees after a certain point, it would be this show, mostly because I would really like it for shows like "The Colbert Report" to finally get their due credit. Also, first he undeservedly gets a Golden Globe nominee and then he ruins the fun by saying that "The Daily Show" was going to win before Anna Paquin even opens the envelope. Scott Caan, why do you keep trying to make me not like you even more?
8:28 p.m.- From the Reality/Variety genres, we now direct our attention to the drama awards. Interesting how "Hawthorne," "Private Practive," "White Collar, "Hawaii Five-O," and "NCIS: Los Angeles" get mentioned but "Sons of Anarchy" gets shut out of the montage for another year in a row (those who read my 2010 live blog would remember me mentioning how the show was shut out of last year's montage). Kurt Sutter and the ATAS members should all just sit down in one room and work out their frustrations, couples therapy style. It's clear that there is not love lost between the two sides at this point.
8:30 p.m.- Very interesting. Jason Katmis just picked up the awards for Outstanding Writing in a Drama Series for "Friday Night Lights" despite Matthew Weiner being the clear frontrunner in the category before the show. With this and the TCA giving the show its "Program of the Year" award, could it be a sign that this little show set in Dillon, Texas shocks everyone and upsets both "Mad Men" and "Boardwalk Empire" to win Outstanding Drama? Hmmm...
8:31 p.m.- Margo Martindale wins the award for Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Drama Series for her performance on "Justified.' Not a surprise. She's a class act that deserves every single award for the amazing performance she gave on that show this past season, including this one. Take all the time in the world to complete your speech, Margo! Now, if there was ever a way for the show's writers to bring you back to life in season three...
8:34 p.m.- As you might be able to tell, my overall thoughts on the way this show is going has changed pretty quickly in the past fifteen minutes. Also, halfway through! Yay!
8:39 p.m.- In honor of Scott Caan, I'm just going to say right now that Martin Scorsese won Outstanding Director in a Drama Series without even finding out if he did indeed win.
8:40 p.m.- Yup.
8:42 p.m.- Kind of funny how it took Scorsese 21 films to win the Oscar for Best Director but just one episode of a TV show to get an Emmy.
8:44 p.m.- Peter Dinklage wins! Boy, no matter how bad the Emmy voters are picking out winners in the comedy awards, they sure do make up for it when it comes to drama. I mean, come on! Four deserving wins in a row?!?! Award When was the last time that you've ever seen such a streak? It's just a shame that this streak will probably end in moments when they name Kathy Bates Best Drama Actress.
8:52 p.m.- Outside of Carell not winning, this New Jersey sketch is by far the worst thing about the show thus far.
8:54 p.m.- Ha, take that hypothetical Kathy Bates victory that I didn't believe would happen until an hour ago! For it is Julianna Marguiles (wearing what appears to be window drapes) who picked up the award for Outstanding Lead Actress in a Drama Series! A good wife, and a good winner to boot (although I felt that Elisabeth Moss had the better submission episode).
8:55 p.m.- The chances that I think the new "Charlie's Angels" will survive past its first season? I'd give it 25%.
8:57 p.m.- Whoa, you guys. I think that "Friday Night Lights" might seriously win Outstanding Drama. First, it won Outstanding Writing and now its lead actor, Kyle Chandler, just defeated Jon Hamm despite Hamm submitting what was by far the best acting performance of the entire year. I'm not sure how I should feel about this. On the one hand, I thought "Mad Men" was the best show on TV when it aired. On the other, I've heard nothing but good things about "Friday Night Lights" from friends, family members and TV critics that I respected who did watch it.
Also, I guess that these two victories mean that I should finally start getting caught up on "Friday Night Lights" as soon as possible. It's instantly available through NetFlix Streaming, after all.!
8:58 p.m.- And now this is the part of the program where I eat some crow after seeing Kyle Chandler win two months after I declared that he's the only actor, I repeat, the only actor, that I saw without a shot of winning the award. In my defense, though, it seemed like Hamm's year (he did submit the best performance, after all) up until Jason Katmis won for Outstanding Writing. Besides, even Chandler didn't think he was going to win. The man didn't even have a speech prepared, for goodness sakes!
8:59 p.m.- Also, the fact that "The Suitcase," a.k.a. the best episode on TV during the past year, picked up zero awards has to make it the biggest bust in Emmys history, right? And what about Jon Hamm? If he couldn't win it this year without Bryan Cranston as a contender, what chance does he have in the next few years to come?
9:00 p.m.- One more hour before the 2010-11 TV season comes to an abrupt conclusion. Will "Friday Night Lights" shock everyone to win Outstanding Drama? Who will win Outstanding Miniseries/TV-Movie: "Mildred Pierce" or "Downton Abbey"? "Modern Family"...will the Emmys still know of its existence? Let's watch! Also, for those of you that don't feel like watching the ceremony anymore, click on over to AMC right now. "Breaking Bad," a.k.a. the best show on TV right now, is on. Or hey, how about Falcons-Eagles? You're an American that loves football, right?
9:03 p.m.- The reaction that the Emmy-tones gave to LL Cool J singing is probably the same reaction that everyone 50 and up watching is having.
(Yes, I know this is my second old people joke. What's your point?)
9:05 p.m.- "A lot of people are confused about why I'm a lesbian. Ladies and gentlemen... the cast of 'Entourage'!" Jane Lynch with the line of the night.
9:08 p.m.- So now here comes the part of the show where "Downton Abbey" battles "Mildred Pierce" for the most awards in the Miniseries/TV Movie category. 'Abbey' throws the first punch with a writing award giving to the show's creator, Julian Fellowes, and an Outstanding Supporting Actress Award for Maggie Smith. And now, once more, we divert our attention to the reason why television is a business first and foremost, the commercials...
9:16 p.m.- Hooray, accountants! Now can we please move onto the pretty people, please?
9:21 p.m.- A quick recap of all the awards given out during the past five minutes:
Outstanding Directing in a Miniseries or TV-Movie: Brian Perkins, "Downton Abbey"
Outstanding Lead Actor in a Miniseries of TV-Movie: Barry Pepper, "The Kennedys" (really?)
9:22 p.m.- I think this is the part of the show where I mention which show had more Emmys in this night than "The Wire" did in five seasons to prove how much of a joke the Emmys are: "Mike and Molly," "The Kennedys," "Modern Family" and "The Big Bang Theory."
9:24 p.m.- "In Memoriam" time. The bad news? All of these (I assume) good people passed away in the past year. The good news? There was so few this year that they actually stopped showing the list before the song ended, and we are reminded once more how great the Stephen J. Cannell production company card was, so there's that...
9:32 p.m.- A half an hour to go, and we're down to about seven or so more awards to go. We start with the award for Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Miniseries/TV-Movie, which went to Guy Pearce. If you're counting at home, that's three wins so far for "Downton Abbey" and just that one for "Mildred Pierce." Not as close so far as I thought it would be. Also, Guy Pearce loves talking and joking about how he played a character who has sex with Kate Winslett. I don't blame you, Guy. I'm sure that the majority of the male population would be doing the same thing if put in your shoes.
9:36 p.m.- Kate Winslett wins the award for Outstanding Lead Actress in a Miniseries or TV-Movie to the shock of no one. That makes it three wins tonight for 'Abbey,' two wins for 'Pierce.' Which of these two will come out on top in the end?
9:38 p.m.- Female announcer: "Coming up next: will 'Friday Night Lights' tackle 'Dexter' on its way to Emmy stardom?" Does this mean that these two shows finished with the most votes? If so, then this will go down as an extremely disappointing year for "Mad Men," and AMC in general.
9:41 p.m.- The jazz version of "Hey Ya" is still better than the version of "Hallelujah" that was sung during the "In Memoriam."
9:45 p.m.- And we're back! Don Cheadle comes onto the stage to present the award for Outstanding Miniseries or TV-Movie. And the Emmy goes to..."Downton Abbey"! Ha, take that "Mildred Pierce," you dull, dull show!
9:47 p.m.- This is going to be interesting...
9:49 p.m.- Huh, would you look at that! Despite "Friday Night Lights' having the late momentum, winning two awards leading up to this moment, it's instead "Mad Men" who ends up receiving the award for Outstanding Drama Series despite not winning ANY OTHER AWARD BEFORE IT (a pretty rare feat, to say the least). It's the fourth consecutive win in this category for the show. Can't say that I disagree. While I would not have mind seeing shows like "Boardwalk Empire," "Game of Thrones" and "Friday Night Lights" coming out on top, the multiple-time winner did have the better season out of all the other five nominees. However, with "Breaking Bad" being awesome in its fourth season and "Boardwalk Empire" expected to have a better sophmore season than its first, I feel that this actually was the last time that we will ever see Matt Weiner and the cast accept this award in the near future.
9:51 p.m.- We're now finally down to the last award of the evening: Outstanding "Modern Family," I mean Comedy Series. So, what's it going to be: "Modern Family," or the field? Gwyneth Paltrow is on the stage with the envelope set to announce the winner any second. Here we go...
9:53 p.m.- Please be "Parks and Rec." Please be "Parks and Rec." Please be "Parks and Rec."...
/knows that its hopeless
//doesn't care
///keeps hoping regardless
9:55 p.m.- Alas, it's the show that has won four times previously on the show, the one that the Academy of Television Arts and Sciences just cannot seem to stop adoring: "Modern Family." Congratulations to the cast and crew, I guess. Sure, I think it's an overrated show that does not belong in the discussion of even the ten best comedies on TV, but hey: it's wildly popular, and it's not like it's downright terrible. Besides, who cares in this case what I think about the show. All that matters is what the Emmy voters love, and what they love (a lot, actually) is this.
A words of warning to Steve Levitan and company: enjoy these awards while you can. Word is that there's another ABC show coming out next spring that just might give you a run for your money. It's called "Work It," and it's a comedy that the TV critics who have already watched it just can't get enough of.
9:59 p.m.- Jane Lynch signs off, taking us to the credits featuring some of the show's highlights, officially marking the end of the 63rd Primetime Emmy Awards. Overall thoughts? Well, most of the winners in the comedy category were kind of a joke, not only because of the domination of "Modern Family," but also because Steve Carell officially ends his time on "The Office" without a single Emmy award for Outstanding Lead Actor (because when Jim Parsons is nominated, apparently there's no better option to choose). However, I actually believe that the rest of the ceremony turned out alright.
Jane Lynch was stellar as the host, and the majority of the non-awards entertainment (outside of the bit where they made fun of all the New Jersey-centered shows) were pretty good and/or funny. Also, the awards given out in the drama, variety, and miniseries/TV-movie to the right people, for the most part. In the miniseries/TV-movie genre, we saw "Downton Abbey" rightfully beat "Mildred Pierce" for the majority of the top categories. Meanwhile, in drama, we saw wins for not only Margo Martindale, but also for Peter Dinklage, Julianna Margulies, "Mad Men" and (in a rather big surprise) "Friday Night Lights." In other words, I tend to look at this show more in a glass half-full kind of way. Oh, and I finished over .500 in my Emmy predictions (20-15, to be exact), so there's that, too!
Thanks for reading this year's live blog of the Emmys! I hoped to do two things this year with this live blog: finish with a better predictions record than the one I had last year and write a live blog that was more entertaining than any of the ones from the previous two wins. Unfortunately, I failed to do the former (2010: .586 win pct., 2011: .571 win pct.). But the latter? Well, that's up to you to decide. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a repeat of tonight's all-new "Breaking Bad" to catch...
Sincerely,
Your pal: mj15
If you have any opinions on today's post, or if you just have any suggestions or tips for my next blog entry, e-mail me at: mj1599@aol.com. Your e-mails are greatly appreciated.
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