END OF THE MONTH:
Quite a few things to cover from this month. So much, in fact, that I didn't even bother to waste even more writing some type of monologue, which has been customary since the very beginning. So let's get straight into it, shall we? From oil companies to perfect pitchers, from car bombings to eels, and so on, the following are my picks for some of the biggest, best and most memorable moments from the month of May, 2010. Enjoy:
Deaths of the Month: Actors Gary Coleman and Dennis Hopper
Videos of the Month (and there were plenty of good ones in May):
- The Best Rant: Cleveland Indians Announcer Bruce Drenman
Terrific. Now, if only Ken Harrelson could be the same man as he is and talk about this year's White Sox the same way. Alas!Speaking of Cleveland...
- The Most Pitiful: "We Are Lebron"
So, a few days before the Cavs just gave up in the Eastern Conference Semifinals in what might have very well have been the last game for Lebron James in a Cleveland Cavaliers uniform, some of Cleveland's biggest "stars" all came to make a "We Are the World" parody in which they plead James to stay in Cleveland. It's sad to watch, seems poorly made and just appears to be too desperate. But hey, anytime you can get Gov. Charles Strickland, Carl Monday (sitting at 1:56) and "Big Dawg" on the same stage is something truly historic.
- The Most Inappropriate: "Worst Wedding DJ Ever"
Big props to the girl. Her no-reaction to the moment easily made the video better and rose this video in the Unintentional Comedy Scale to great heights.
- Best Promotional Video...NOT: "We Built Sioux City"
So awful, it just makes Sioux Falls even better. In their defense, what were they supposed to do? Last time I checked, there wasn't a great advertising agency within miles of the area.
- The Funniest: "SNL Digital Short: Great Day"
Oh, Andy Samberg! Just when I start doubting you, you come up with these two and a half glorious minutes. Well done.
- The Most Awesome: "Greyson Michael Chance Performing Lady Gaga's 'Paparazzi'"
It just goes to show you how easy it is to be famous. Before the video, this thirteen year old was a nobody. Now, tens of millions of hits later, he's signed to a record deal and has become one of the Internet's newest web sensation. By the way, a seperate should go to the emotionless girls watching Chance perform. It's priceless, and confusing because you can't tell if they're shocked how good he is or just not interested.
Comeback of the Week (Possibly of the Ages, Too):
During the Eastern Conference Semifinals of the NHL Playoffs, the Philadelphia Flyers came back down three games to none in the series and even 3-0 in game seven to win the final four games over the Boston Bruins to advance to the Eastern Conference Semifinals. That makes them only the third NHL team in history to come back and win a series down three games to none earlier, and just the fourth in all of the four major proffesional sports (NBA, NHL, MLB, NFL). Not only that, but it also provided some great schadenfreude watching the Boston sports fans react to the loss and have advanced as far as the Stanley Cup Finals because of this. Wow.
Stories of the Month:
- The Most Terrorist-ing (made word up on the spot): Car Bombing Attempt in Times Square Fails
- The Weirdest: Chinese Man Dies After Terrible Practical Joke Gone Wrong
So what did we learn? Well, first off, if you're going a man in his near sixties try not to hang out with guys who thinks putting a live eel in your pants while drunk would be funny. That's number one. Number two: if you have a strong urge to put a live eel in someone's pants, don't do it. And the most important: DON'T DO ANYTHING INVOLVING LIVE EELS AND BOWELS!
- Most Likely to Start a War, or At Least Create Bigger Tensions: South Korean Ship Sunk by North Korean Submarine, Over 100 People Die
Yeah, let's just say that the already tense conflict between the two nations will not ease because of this.
- The Funniest: The Story of Yo-Yo "Master" K-Strass
Shame on him! As if the credibility of small market news stations weren't already bad, this guys shows up and makes them look even worse! THE GALL.
- The One With the Best Headline: Guy Dressed as Captain America With Burrito In Pants Arrested For Groping Woman
That must have been a great police report to fill!
- The "I Can't Believe This Is Still Going On" Story of the Month: The BP Oil Spill
45 Days. That's how long it has been since the first drops f oil were let out from that oil rig near the Gulf of Mexico. And in this nearly two month span, we have had two or three failed attempts to fix it, the credibility of an oil company and the concept of offshore drilling ruined (and yet BP stocks have risen 3%. Whodathunkit?), any type of oil production in the area suspended until further notice, President Obama's popularity ruined even more because of this, and at least two failed attempts two stop it (Operation "Top Kill" and one with an insersion tube) with another one on the way and also looking like ti won't be able to stop it. Oh yeah, and it has also passed the Exxon Valdez spill of the eighties as the worst oil spill in US history, so there you go! And now, well the oil is still leaking constantly (you can even watch it happen if you'd like with this live feed) and there are reports that this could continue up to August. August!
In conclusion, it's a tragedy. Now, let's just hope that this doesn't at least continue on for another month because, believe me, the thought of this story continuing on as I'm posting June's "End of the Month" is just scary.
Fact of the Month: In the 130 year history of MLB, only 18 perfect games were able to be recorded. In the last three weeks? Two, one by Dallas Braden bak in Mother's Day and one by Roy Halladay on Saturday (though, most of us can agree that it should've been three). Add in Mark Buehrle's back in July, and that makes three in ten months. Talk about random, am I right?
Smoking Baby of the Month: Ardi Rizal
Actual quote from the mother: "He's totally addicted. If he doesn't get cigarettes, he gets angry and screams and batters his head against the wall. He tells me he feels dizzy and sick." So don't worry about those "Am I the terrible parent?" debate in your head, folks!
TV Finales of the Month: "Lost," "24," and "Law and Order"
One left with a heavily debated and talked about finale, one left at a time when most of their fans probably thought was a couple of years too late, and one just ended quietly without much fanfare despite being one of the longest running TV dramas ever. However they ended, all three contributed to television in a big way the last twenty years and will be missed by their fans.
Person of the Month: BP
Yeah, I think I don't need to repeat the things I've mentioned earlier to state my case with this one.
Runners-up: President Obama, "Lost" fans, the Gulf of Mexico, Summer
And that's the way it was! So with May out of the way, it now looks to be a very promising June. As mentioned before, you have summer underway as well as the NBA Finals, the final games of the Stanley Cup Finals, the World Cup (especially looking forward to it), good blockbuster movies like "Toy Story 3" and more like the oil spill possibly, you know, possibly be stopped (finally). So enjoy it, and have fun not commemorating the Tiananmen Square protests today, China!
Sincerely,
Your pal: mj15
If you have any opinions on today's post, or
if you want to suggest anything to mj15 for his next blog entry, e-mail him
at: mj1599@aol.com. Your e-mail might be addressed on a future
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if you want to suggest anything to mj15 for his next blog entry, e-mail him
at: mj1599@aol.com. Your e-mail might be addressed on a future
post
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