What a week! We've had the nuclear disaster in Japan reach Chernobyl levels, the mayor of Washington D.C. arrested, Warner Bros. announcing that they will never have Charlie Sheen come back to "Two and a Half Men," ABC cancelling longtime soap operas "All My Children" and "One Life to Live," a proffesional golfer shooting a 16 in a hole, and more! Unfortunately, none of these things will be appear on this week's installment. So what did? Scroll down this post and find out.
"Friday" Parody of the Week: The Heavy Metal Cover by "331ERock"
I think that this will be the last time I run this segment. Not only have all the good ideas starting to become run out, but you can start seeing Rebecca Black's famous for being awful song "Friday" losing its popularity into new fads (like people dancing in Apple stores). Sure, "Glee" has announced that they will perform their version in a future episode, and Black has agreed to sing in an EP, but how many times have you heard the lyrics to "Friday" sung this week compared the last few weeks? Less, I'm sure. Personally, it took me until 5:35 p.m. to hear someone sing it out loud whereas in the past few weeks it was around 9:00 a.m.-9:45 a.m. Still, this has been fun, and one which will go down among the Internet's biggest accomplishments this 2K11. Now, onto this week's installment (a nice way to end this segment, no?), which is just basically some guitar player turning the melody into an epic, three and a half minute rock salute. As the video description on Today's Big Thing (a go-to for the Web's top viral videos) states: "He still needs his cereal, but he eats it out of a skull."
Dumbass Quote of the Week: I know that this took place late last week during the budget battle, but I have just got to mention it nonetheless. From Arizona (a state that has had its share of moronic politicians in the past few weeks) Senator Jon Kyl, about the supposed abortions performed by Planned Parenthood, one of the heated topics that almost led to a government shutdown:
"Everybody goes to clinics, to hospitals, to doctors, and so on. Some people go to Planned Parenthood. But you don't have to go to Planned Parenthood to get your cholesterol or your blood pressure checked. If you want an abortion, you go to Planned Parenthood, and that's well over 90 percent of what Planned Parenthood does."
Wow, that is quite a bold statement. I sure wish that someone can find out whether its true or not. Oh wait, someone already has (along with many others). According to Politifact, a great website for finding out whether statements by politicians and media pundits are factual or not, Planned Parenthood provides only 3 percent of its services are abortion-related (around 332,000), not 90 percent. If I didn't know any better, I'd say that Kyl just insulted the intelligence of him fellow Senators and millions of Americans. During the week, the office of the Senator released another statement, saying that his inexcusable quote was "not intended to be a factual statement." Well, that fixes the whole mess completely! It was supposed to be a hyperbolic lie! Then I suppose that its fair to say the following: Jon Kyl is a closeted mental retard.
Ad Placement of the Week: "The Walking Dead" Billboard Next to a Funeral Home
In a way, the billboard is sort of optimistic. Sure, you're loved one may be dead, but at least there might be some kind of afterlife for him.
Video of the Week: "Czech President Vaclav Klaus Steals Pen"
Oh my God! Their flags look so alike!
Story of the Week:
-The Actual Story of the Week (Besides the Fighting in Libya): House of Representatives Passes Pual Ryan's 2012 Budget Plan
This thing is going to get killed in the Senate, but at least the Wisconsin Rep. is feeling like a total congressional badass right now.
- The Tiger Woods Saga of '09 Memorial Story of the Week: China Bans Time Travel
Damn! And I was so looking forward to watching "Bill and Ted 3" at a Beijing movie plex with some of my Chinese brethren!
Curser of the Week: LA Lakers Superstar Kobe Bryant
I think its pretty fair to say that no athlete is allowed to say any swear word to "gg" in the middle.
Person of the Week: Former BALCO Trainer Greg Anderson
for proving that he is the bestest best friend in the whole wide world now that we know the final verdict of the Barry Bonds trial (one conviction out of four, and that was for rambling on about being the son of an athlete growing on, temporarily obstructing the criminal prosecution). The man, currently doing jail time for not saying anything, could have just easily gotten out of bars and helped the prosecution in the case of his old pal by breaking his long-standing silence at any point, and I mean any point, and just admitted that he injected steroids into Bonds' body with him willingly allowing it. But, he didn't, and as a result Bonds was convicted innocent on the charges of lying about not knowing that steroids and HGH was being injected into his body because they weren't given Anderson's testimony. Sure, the court of public opinion will forever have a different ruling on the case of Barry Bonds for as long as the sport of baseball remains current and profitable, but when it comes to the federal court, and Anderson will have to continue to serve his jail time, but Bonds is innocent to any charge relating to perjury and will probably not go to jail, and I have a feeling that when Anderson gets himself out, Bonds will reward him heavily. Then again, I don't see how Bonds won't do such a thing. For all we know, if Bonds shows no sign of appreciation to Anderson after his jail sentence, Anderson would get pissed off and then come clean to the prosecution. But for now, he's your model of what is a loyal friend.
And that's the way it was! enjoy the remaining two hours of your weekend, everyone!
Sincerely,
Your pal: mj15
If you have any opinions on today's post, or if you just have any suggestions or
tips for my next blog entry, e-mail me at: mj1599@aol.com. Your e-mails are greatly appreciated.
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