END OF THE WEEK:
I've got birthday parties for two of my nephews that were born around the same time to get to later tonight, so I've decided to write this post earlier than usual. They're two of my favorite nephews, so I've decided to go all out and buy the older one his first acoustic guitar and the little one every important baseball equipment necessary for a four year old, meaning a Louisville slugger bat, a helmet, a glove and an actual baseball. Now if that doesn't scream Favorite Uncle, then I don't know what is. Anyways, here are a few things that I considered the best and most memorable something something from the past seven days.
Dumb Controversy of the Week: Michelle Obama's Invitation of Rapper Common to Read Poetry at the White House
I'll just let Jon Stewart, who had his take on the "issue" Wednesday, break it down. I mean, all he did was basically take the words right out of my mouth Take it away, Jon!
Stories of the Week:
-The Actual Story of the Week: Mississippi River Areas Experience Historic Level Floods
The floods have reached devastating levels not seen since the Great Depression, ruining the lives of thousands from residents in urban Memphis to farmers in Arkansas. My thoughts are with all of them, and I hope that enough will be done to help them recover as quickly and efficiently as possible.
- The Tiger Woods Saga of '09 Memorial Story of the Week: Osama Bin Laden Had Porn in His $1 Million "Mansion" Prior to Death
In his defense, the movies "72 Virgins Squirting" and "Burkake" had some pretty hot scenes.
Newspaper Correction of the Week: The New York Times, for writing what may perhaps have been the nerdiest corrections ever issued. From the weekend edition of the Times:
"An item in the Extra Bases baseball notebook last Sunday misidentified, in some editions, the origin of the name Orcrist the Goblin Cleaver, which Mets pitcher R. A. Dickey gave one of his bats. Orcrist was not, as Dickey had said, the name of the sword used by Bilbo Baggins in the Misty Mountains in “The Hobbit”; Orcrist was the sword used by the dwarf Thorin Oakenshield in the book. (Bilbo Baggins’s sword was called Sting.) "
Dear God, what a glorious apology! If I didn't know any better, I'd say that the person who issued the apology were wearing a collared red shirt while completing it so punctiliously. In fact, as the folks of Deadspin pointed out, everything about it is just great, from Dickey being such a "LOTR" geek to name his bat after one of Bilbo's swords to the person who pointed out the mistake and then must have had one of the geekiest erections ever while reading the corrections section soon after. And yet, when I discuss the plot holes of "The Dark Knight," people just ignore me.
Video of the Week: "Jack Sparrow (ft. Michael Bolton)"
Great, just what I need: another Lonely Island song that will take months to get out of my head. And I had just gotten "I Just Had Sex" out of my head three weeks ago! Oh well, at least Michael Bolton's brilliant cameo made it all worth it.
Massacres of the Week: The Large Amount of TV Show Cancellations From FOX, NBC and ABC
The recap:
a. FOX: Became the first network TV station to commit bloodbath on Tuesday when they decided to cancel all of their remaining scripted programs on their plate that had yet to be renewed, including rookie comedies "Breaking In" and "Traffic Light," and all of their three lower rated but respectable dramas ("Lie to Me," "Human Target," and my favorite of the three, "The Chicago Code") in favor of four new shows, including "Bones" spin-off "Finders," the J.J. Abrams produced "Acatraz," and the comedies "I Hate My Teenage Daughter" and "The New Girl."
b. NBC: Controlled all major TV news Wednesday and Thursday outside of Ashton Kutcher joining "Two and a Half Men" with the cancellations of the low rated reality show "America's Next Great Restuarant," the critically despised comedy "Outsourced," and the both low rated and critically despised dramas "The Event" and "Law and Order: Los Angeles." They've even managed to cancel highly talked about shows that hadn't even aired, most notably including David E. Kelley's reboot of "Wonder Woman" (whose pilot, I had heard, was awful).
Wonder Woman" remake. In other words, with the exception of "Harry's Law," NBC seems to be the only network who managed to cancel all of their crappy TV shows.
c. ABC: Saved the best bubble bloodbath for last when, on Friday, they announced that they were cancelling seven scripted shows, including veteran drama "Brothers & Sisters," the cult sci-fi sophmore "V," and low-rated but still critically shows liked "Detroit 1-8-7" and "No Ordinary Family."
In a way, these massive amount of cancellations are just a nice, big metaphor of how awful this 2010-11 TV season, one that has featured one of the worst string of new shows in recent memory, has been four these four networks and how bad the state of network TV is in general. Take FOX for instance. Out of the eight new scripted shows they debuted this past year, only two of them have been added onto next season's schedule, both of which are comedies ("Raising Hope" and "Bob's Burgers" who coincidentally were the best reviewed of those eight shows). NBC is another example of this, with only one of their rookie scripted shows coming back this season, "Harry's Law," and that's only because its developed a surprisingly large following among old people.
In a way, I suppose this is a good thing. Almost none of the poorly reviewed shows from this past year, with the exception of "Harry's Law," are still part of the future schedules for these three networks. Also, the fact that these shows struggled this season meant that some brilliant but low rated shows that have struggled to get pass the 1.5 demo rating like "Community," "Fringe" and, most recently, "Chuck" have been renewed for a 3rd, 4th and 5th season respectively. Had it been, say, five years ago, I don't think that not a single one of three would have remained on the air past their current point (which is what makes the cancellation of "Arrested Development" by FOX in 2006 even more bittersweet). Only left to do now is to wait for the long-anticipated upfronts next week, see where of the new and returning shows are scheduled next season, react to the upfronts in happiness (ex: "Parks and Recreations" paired next to "The Office") and/or disgust (ex: "Parks and Recreations" bumped to midseason in favor of "Outsourced"), and then spend the summer watching cable and waiting to see all of those shows premiere in early September and early January.
Person of the Week: Beauty Pageant Mom Kerry Campbell
for possibly giving whoever was currently considered by a majority of the human population as the Worst Mom of the Year a run for their money while also continuing to damage the reputation of pageant moms everywhere with one single surprising story. According to this "Good Morning America" news report, the 34 year old woman has an 8 year old daughter named Brittany who entered the highly competitive world of the Little Miss beauty pageant circuit. As Brittany began competing, she started to receive complaints from other pageant mothers (complaints that any smart person would have realized were not sincere, but rather aimed at messing with the competition's head and destroying them from within) about some "wrinkles" that she apparently had (though I'm pretty sure that they just were adorable child dimples). As a result, Campbell has since been injecting here eight year old daughter with painful injections of botox to remove those so-called "wrinkles" ever since.
While many of your readers might react to this story with a mix of shock, anger and disgust, Campbell goes on in the "Good Morning America" report to dictate how she has no remorse in her choices and even went on to justify the injections of botox by saying that she's not the only pageant mother to do so (When in Rome, amirite?) and that 8 year old Brittany insisted on doing it. Besides, in a field as tough and potentially soul-crushing as the beauty pageant circuit, one must do whatever it takes to getting the winning edge, whether its going as far as injecting botox to someone who has years left before hitting puberty or Brazilian waxing parts of the body that has yet to grow hair (just paraphrasing here). Still, while little Brittany appears all right and not scarred at all by the past few months, one can't help but worry the emotional and psychological damages of the young girl in future years to come. After all, insecurity about body images for female doesn't begin with photoshopped pictures of beautiful women in magazines, but from the people closest to them. The fact that this mother has basically shown to her daughter that she doesn't view her as a beautiful young girl but rather as someone who she thinks as so imperfect that she needs screwed-up procedure done on her young and innocent face is an unspoken message that was not only the wrong thing to do, but one that will have dramatic ramifications throughout her whole life. And another thing, if Campbell constantly mentions that the tough competition of the beauty pagaent industry is what influenced her to give daughter Brittany the botox injections, then why does she just quit, or at least treat it as some fun event? Seems to me like this whole shenanigan is just an example of the mother trying to fulfill the gaping hole in her soul and self esteem issues by getting succesful from her daughter (instead of, you know, going out, losing weight, and setting a right example for Brittany) than the girl wanting a competitive advantage.
Look, maybe just all reacting. Maybe Brittany will grow up to be a wonderful down-to-earth girl without these botox treatment having any negative impact in her life. Regardless, whatever Kerry Campbell did should not be tolerated and should be shouted down upon, even if she's part of this world of shame, abuse and idiocy that has been exposed through news reports like these and all of the countless TV shows about it on TLC. Honestly, I can't believe it took until yesterday for Child Welfare Services to begin investigating whether this awful mother was abusing her child. Maybe now she will be able to get the message.
(UPDATE 05/25: If this Taiwanese New Media animation is to be believed, and I do sincerely believe that its true, then this entire "Botox Mom" story is a hoax. Still doesn't not make her a bad mother, hoax or not).
And that's the way it was! Sorry if the rant at the end was both lengthy and/or not-cohesive. Its just that I found the Brittany Campbell story pretty appaling to the point that I was angrier than your average Jezebel commenter when it comes to anything that they find sexist. But, hey, I'm all done now. Now, enjoy the rest of the weekend, everyone!
Sincerely,
Your pal: mj15
If you have any opinions on today's post, or if you just have any suggestions or
tips for my next blog entry, e-mail me at: mj1599@aol.com. Your e-mails are greatly appreciated.
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