END OF THE WEEK:
Well, no Rapture on Saturday after all, to the dismay of 89 year old Harold Camping and the rest of his Family Radio followers and believers (although they now believe that the day of Judgment is now October 21st). In a way, I'm kind of sad. Yes, I knew that Judgment Day was never going to happen at 6 p.m. last night, and that an earthquake would strike the Earth, leading into six months of famine, destruction and death. And, yes, I know that everyone who believed that the Rapture would happen that day are gullible idiots who deserve the repercussions (but not our pity) for believing a false prophet who had failed in his end of days prediction 17 years ago and apparently never put Matthew 24:36-51 into his "equation." But then again...how awesome would it have been to see Judgment Day and the second coming of Christ happen, to actually see something happen that Christians for the past 1900 years always believed would happen but never were able to see it for themselves (well, the people who experienced the Bubonic Plague might have gotten a taste) and has sparked imagination from people for years and have been the inspiration for many great works of art, from Mozart's "Requiem" to the movie "Dr. Strangelove? After all, wouldn't you like to go up to Heaven, have someone who probably died from some heart attack or auto-erotic asphyxiation incident go up to you and asked how did you get here, with your response being "FROM THE FREAKIN' RAPTURE"? I'd say that there is no comparison.
(sighs) Well, I guess there's still the December 21st, 2012 prediction to keep our hopes up. In the meantime, I guess were just going to live our normal lives, looking back on this funny moment and laugh (and, for those who sold all their stuff and honestly believed in Camping, hopefully use this as a way to self-reflect on their entire lives). Anywho...let's get to the real reason why we're all here, shall we? Here, at last, is my picks for the week's best, and most memorable, people and moments. Sorry about the delay, by the way. It's just been a busy weekend for me, one that I couldn't squeeze two hours of free time to write this blog post, so I hope that you can at least forgive me for my tardiness. Here we go...
Death of the Week: Randall Mario Poffo (a.k.a. "Macho Man" Randy Jackson)
One of the best old-school WWF wrestlers of his time. Sad to see him gone. Hopefully, he's in Heaven now, selling Slim Jims in the afterlife and stopping Jesus from causing the Rapture with every diving elbow drop that he can (great picture by the way).
Video of the Week: "John Lithgow Perform's Gingrich Press Release"
The man is this generation's Orson Wells with the word of mouth, if Orson Welles wasn't he fat and a drunk who couldn't even perform wine commercials sober at Lithgow's age.
Stories of the Week:
- The Actual Story of the Week: I.M.F. Chief Is Held Without Bail in New York After Being Arrested for Sexual Assault Charge
Well, so much for that run for French presidency he was planning.
- The Tiger Woods Saga of '09 Memorial Story of the Week: Arnold Schwarzenegger Had a Love Child With Longtime Maid Over a Decade Ago
Well, at least she was ho....well, maybe not. But at least its not like Arnold kept her as their...oh, that's right, she was still their maid years after she gave birth to his child. Eh, at least he can take proud in the fact that it took ten years and a divorce with his wife, Maria Schriver, for the media to find out in this 24/7 news cycle that we live in now. Otherwise, guess "True Lies" isn't just a movie for the Governator.
Book Excerpts of the Week: "Those Guys Have All the Fun" by James Andrew Miller and Tom Shales
The folks behind the outstanding book on the backstage history of "Saturday Night Live" are at it again, this time with a work based on years of interviews and research on the behind-the-scenes history of the WWL, from its humble origins to "The Decision," with all the sexy, shocking and controversial behind-the-scenes background in between. This week, in preparation for the book's release (this Tuesday) the publishers of the book decided to give some copies of the book, which has in turn resulted in plenty of interesting excerpts released from websites across the Web (most notably from Deadspin). Among these excerpts have included passages detailing the asshole/genius that is Keith Olbermann, the ingenious asshole that is Bill Simmons, Michelle Beadle's interesting thoughts on the 2009 Erin Andrews peephole video scandal, and the reveal that "The Decision" was, in fact, an orgy of self-interest (with James in the middle). If those excerpts were a preview of how shit stirring the actual book should be, then I guess I have all choice but to pay the $15 on Amazon.
Loser of the Week: Family Radio Head Harold Camping
for spending millions in advertisement predicting that the world would end on Saturday, only to see it not happen each 6 p.m. local time at a time. On the plus side, the man is 89 years old, so at least he can take comfort in knowing that his life will end sometime soon anyway.
People of the Week: Cleaning Ladies
for once again proving that, besides being simple household and hotel maids cleaning rooms for a living to provide earnings for themselves and their family, they can in fact be responsible for some of the biggest and most scandalous stories in both the politics and pop culture sphere. This was the case once again this week as not one, but two cleaning ladies were responsible (one intentionally, one not) with two of the week's top political scandals that has resulted in two different results. The first was Mildred Patricia Baena, aged 50, who this week unknowingly became the most talked about mistress in the world with the news that she is the mother of well-know actor/California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger's ten year old bastard child, something that officially gave Maria Schriver the excuse to divorce Schwarzenegger earlier in the week. While this has zero impact to Schwarzenegger's political career (he was not going to run for re-election anyway), it does have significant impact of his private life and his newly revived movie career (of, which, he had to postpone because of this recent development).
The second, this time knowingly, was a brave African immigrant hotel maid (name currently being anonymous) at New York's Sofitel Hotel who this past week accused Dominique Strauss-Kahn, then chairman of the International Monetary Fund and potential candidate for the upcoming France presidential election, of sexually assaulting her while she was at Strauss-Kahn's luxury suite (last) Sunday evening. According to this FOX News exclusive, the 32 yr. old female came into the suite to see a naked Strauss-Kahn to which then the now disgraced chairman proceeded to chase her, grab her, fondle her, and tried to have sex with her for thirty minutes before she fled to call for police service. I don't know about you, but I don't think that's the right way to greet someone who was going to do something as clean up your own filth. Anyway, unlike Schwarzenegger, this story involving Strauss-Khan and the maid has actually resulted in some big political and economical impact. Not only has this resulted in his resignation as chairman of the I.M.F., which not only means a scramble at the top of the board to find a replacement and also the loss of a key source of financial support in Europe's efforts to repair the debt crisis across the continent, especially in areas such as Greece, Icleand, and Portugal (according to the Washington Post), it also means that a man who was previously one of the most respected men in France has his chances to run against Nicolas Sarkozy completely dashed. So remember, kids, if you're the chairman of an important monetary fund, and you feel really horny, don't use rape as a tool to fight that sexual urge, all right?
What happens from now on as a result of these two stories remains a mystery. Currently, the Strauss-Kahn case is in its earliest developments, with the man still being held by judge's orders in a New York state prison. As for Schwarzenegger and Baena, well there's still the issue of how the child is going to do and how is he going to respond in the future to what must be shocking and life changing news. But for now, one thing is for certain: that from now, the lives of these two women, and the politicians of which they were involved with, are now changed forever.
-Runner-up: Citizens of Winnepeg, Manitoba, for finally getting an NHL team back into their city since the Jets moved to Phoenix in the 1990s with the news that the Atlanta Thrashers would be announcing and beginning their move to the city of 750,000 starting this Tuesday. Overall, this is good for all sides involved except for maybe Gary Bettman: Canada gets another hockey team while Atlanta gets to lessen their burden of teams who aren't the Falcons that they never pay attention to anyway (unless they're in the playoffs). I guess the one downside to the move is that Winnipeg will not be getting the same team that left them not long ago, but strangers that might not even share the same name as the Jets (rumor has it that they will be called the Manitoba Moose, after their current AHL minor league hockey team). But, hey, an NHL team is an NHL team, and that's really all that matters.
And that's the way it was! Again, apologize for the two day delay. But, hey, look at the bright side, at least this week's installment of "End of the Week" did happen, unlike a certain Rapture prediction that was very well-spread during the week. Now, go ahead and enjoy the rest of your day, will ya?
Sincerely,
Your pal: mj15
If you have any opinions on today's post, or if you just have any suggestions or
tips for my next blog entry, e-mail me at: mj1599@aol.com. Your e-mails are greatly appreciated.
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