The show is supposedly going to return soon, but will the same quality return with it?
What you're seeing right now with your very eyes marks the 365th post in the blog's 27 month history. That means that, starting today, there are officially enough blog posts written that anyone would be able to start from the beginning and read one post every day for one full year after they started. Of course, the one exception is during leap years (stupid Earth! Why can't you make a perfectly timed revolution around the Sun for once!), but that problem will be done with in less than 48 hours or so with the NFL week 5 picks. So, in honor of this momentous occasion, I've decided on combining two of the blog's staples ("Random Thoughts" and "End of the Month) and lump them together into one post, as a milestone this big requires a post that's big (or, more specifically, lengthy).
All right, you caught me! I needed to write September's "End of the Month," and I added it to the Thursday random thoughts as a result! The 365th post was just an excuse for my six day later. You happy now?
Anyways, let's get this show on the road. As usual, we begin with my always reliable, never bad or offensive in any way random thoughts (Ed. note: quality of random thoughts post may vary)...
RANDOM THOUGHTS:
The following were on my mind between Monday, October 3rd and Thursday, October 6th:
- Couldn't be more happy with the news this past week that "Arrested Development" Mitch Hurwitz announced plans to bring back the much beloved and award winning comedy for a limited, nine or ten episode fourth season (each focused on what a specific character did in the five years after the show's 2006 cancellation) before officially releasing the long-anticipated movie (apparently sometime in 2013). And I couldn't be more happier that it's looking more like a realistic possibility as the days go by, with networks like Showtime and online-streaming sites like NetFlix and Hulu battling it out for the rights to air the episodes. Sure, there's a good chance that it will end up being, at most, a mild disappointment as American TV shows returning post-cancellation almost never do as good quality-wise (see: "Family Guy," "Futurama," etc.). And sure, Hurwitz has yet to rebound from the 'AD' cancellation thanks to the failures (both commercially and critically) of "Sit Down, Shut Up" (which I thought was not as bad as people make it out to be) and "Running Wilde." But I don't care. Just the fact that I will have at least six more hours of the Bluth family in my lives makes the possibility all the more worthwhile.
- No matter how much you may not like actor Eddie Cibrian, you have to feel a sympathy for the guy after experiencing one of the worst weeks ever these past few days. First, his show, "The Playboy Club," gets cancelled (the first new show of the 2011-12 TV season to get the axe). Then, on the same day, he gets injured on the set of the show . And now, he gets involved in a car crash with his wife. Only people that died this week had it worse, but at least they ended up in a better place.
- The Nielsen ratings creator passed away this week. His age was about as long as his ratings system has been flawed (kidding! May he R.I.P.)
- First planking, then coning, then owling, and now this thing called "batmanning," where people hang upside down like Batman might do. The Internet should just admit that it's just plain given up.
- Honestly, I think the NBA deserves all its loss of momentum that it will get if the lockout continues. Any league that makes the NFL's lockout look like a minor and reasonable quarrel should get some kind of punishment for their stubbornness.
- I'm a bit torn about "The Simpsons" being on the verge of cancellation thanks to the main voice actor's money demands. On the one hand, the show's as much a slice of Americana as anything else in this country, and cancelling this comedy staple would be like outlawing apple pie. I also still watch the show regularly, and want to see it pass "Gunsmoke" for the longest running series of all-time. On the other hand, it would put the show out of its own misery, nearly fifteen years after it's "golden age" came to and end. Plus, it could mean that the show gets closer to cable syndication, and that would be pretty sweet as it's much better than my local FOX affiliate only airing the HD episodes as it did for five months this past year.
- This is why I keep saying we should all move to Argentina, people! (http://gawker.com/5846473/woman-gets-completely-naked-on-argentinas-dancing-with-the-stars)
More RTs to come, as always, on Monday. And now, for the moment you've been waiting for: my picks for the best and most memorable moments from September 2011:
END OF THE MONTH
Repeal of the Month: "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" Officially Over
Goodbye, surreal comic strip!
Anniversary of the Month: The Tenth Anniversary of 9/11
Kind of a sad state of affairs in this country when the two days that united us the most this year involved this tragic day in our nation's history (Bin Laden's death, this anniversary).
Outbreak of the Month: Rampant Listeria in Cantaloupes
And that's why you should never trust fruits with the outside of a rock and the inside of a pear.
Stories of the Month:
- The Co-Biggest: President Obama Unveils $447 Billion Jobs Bill Act to Congress
Hopefully it will do better than the American Recover and Reinvestment Act. I'm kind of tired of seeing signs up saying that they renovated the street thanks to the act yet see absolutely no work being done, jut cones and broken infrastructure.
- The Other Co-Biggest: Obama Unveils Debt Reduction Plan, 'Buffett Rule' Tax on Millionaires
Oh no! Now how will these job creators create work that they probably wouldn't have without the motivation of having extra money in their own pockets! Won't someone please think of the 1%?
-The Best "Glad I'm Not That Guy!" Story: Arkansas Weatherman Brett Cummins Found in Hot Tub with Naked Dead Man Wearing 'Dog Collar'
Big deal! Keith Richards does this on an average Tuesday!
- The Biggest Mistake: T.I. Goes Back to Prison Thanks to Luxe Bus Ride
He was finally released from the halfway house weeks later. Can't wait to see how he finds himself back there soon.
- The Most Season-Destroying: Colts QB Peyton Manning Out For Entire 2011 Season
The Colts since then? 0-4. Makes you kind of re-consider the Brady/Manning debate once more.
- The Most Heroic: Dramatic Rescue From Burning Car Caught on Tape in Utah
Damn Mormons, making the rest of us look more inferior!
- The Funniest: Man in Gumby Costume Robs 7-Eleven
Gumby suits: when Spongebob costumes seem just too modern
- The Saddest:The Air Race Crash in Reno, Nevada
- The Craziest (Person That Is): Dutch Woman Calls Boyfriend 65,000 Times
Add this to the "When Unlimited Calling Plans Go Wrong" file.
- The Most Impressive: Man Smuggles Multiple Bags of Cocaine in Stomach
Big deal! Keith Richards snorts that much bags of cocaine on an average Wednesday!
- Hopefully, He Didn't Die in Vain: 14 Year Old Who Made "It Gets Better" Video Kills Himself
- The Biggest Fear For Such a Small Thing: NASA Spaceship Debri Falling on Earth
The 12,500 pound dead satellite ended up hitting the Pacific Ocean, which is a shame. From the hype leading up to this (Debri Might Hit U.S.! Debri Might Hit Your House!), you could swear that Haley's Comet was going to fall from the sky and crush you in your sleep.
- More Proof That the '90s Really Are Coming Back: "Lion King" Returns to #1 in Box Office After 17 Years Thanks to 3D Re-Release
You know that September is a boring time for movies when a movie released before HD and Blu-Ray were mainstream could easily defeat any of today's new releases.
- The Most Feline-tastic: Man Who Admitted to Having Sex with Cat and Throwing It Out Window Goes to Jail
I don't think that's what Ted Nugent when he sang "I make that pussy pur" in "Cat Scratch Fever."
- The Worst Job Performance: Hitman Falls in Love With Woman He Was Supposed to Kill Before Fake-Murdering Her
I can only imagine the awkwardness that ensued when the "cheated" wife asked for her deposit back.
- The Most Diplomatic: Palestine Submits U.N. Statehood Bid
This is the U.N. equivalent of a kid being enemies with a member of a club, and then asking the rest to be part of it. Should be interesting to see which side the rest of the club members decide on.
- The Most Dy-na-MITE (Literally): Woman Injured by Exploding Toilet.
The very definition of a crappy day.
- The One Most Harmful to a Centuries Long Way of Life: Postal Service On the Verge of Financial Collapse
I can't wait to see how the GOP opposes the government aiding an institution specifically mentioned in the Constitution.
- The Most Protesting: North Irish Farmer Demands A Topless Rihanna To Get Off His Property
And the award for strangest heterosexual male goes to...
- The Most Glooming: DOW Has Worst Week Since October 2008
I'm not ready to believe this until I see a photo of a stockbroker looking worried. Oh, wait, here's one. EVERYBODY PANIC!
Death of the Month: Troy Davis
Meanwhile, Casey Anthony is alive and still living among society as we speak. The inconsistencies and double standards of the U.S. judicial system is simply getting more baffling by the year.
Photos of the Month: Scarlett Johansson's Leaked Nude Photos
And just like that, millions of mens' prayers were answered.
Break-up of the Month: R.E.M.
There are a few bands that I wished to have seen in concert during their glory years. This band is one of them. May their music live on for eternity.
Billboard of the Month: "Jimmy Miller: Voted Manager of the Year, 1998"
(photo courtesy of Best Week Ever) Greatest billboard ever, or greatest ego ever?
Videos of the Month:
- The Most Inconvenient: "2011 US Open: Nadal Cramps Up During Press Conference"
I have a feeling that this video would've been interpreted a lot differently without the full explanation.
- The Least Athletic: "Worst Penalty EVER!! Amir Sayoud (Al Ahly) vs. Kima Aswan September 7th, 2011"
Even Bill Gramatica feels embarrassed for him.
- The Most Touching: "Jimmy Kimmel's Uncle Frank Tribute"
Whether you like Kimmel's shtick or not, I think we could all agree that this was simly beautiful. A wonderful salute to a man beloved by seemingly everyone that knew him.
- The Other Most Touching: "29 years old and hearing myself for the 1st time!"
In your face, God!
- The Most Likely to Get You the Munchies: "Easily-amazed stoner films cute confused bird on an escalator"
If this amazes him, then watching "March of the Penguins" would make him hyperventilate.
- The Best Display of Honesty: "Bennett Presser: Act more like dogs"
The team's 3-1 this season, so this speech obviously did some good.
- The One That's So Good, I Had to Include It Even Though It's Technically From August: "Official Ojai Valley Taxidermy TV Commercial"
I think the Most Interesting Man in the World and The Man Your Man Could Smell Like have some serious competition for ultimate supremacy, and his name is Chuck Testa.
- The Best Parody: "The End of 'Entourage'"
Can we please make that the alternate ending for season one of "The Killing"?
/I know, I know.
- The Most Breathtaking: "What does it feel like to fly over planet earth?"
Big deal! Keith Richards does feels that way on an average Thursday!
(Note: did I mention that I just finished Keith Richard's autobiography this week?)
- The Most Age-Defying: "Grandma shotgunning beer at michigan football game hail to the victors"
Hail to the victors, indeed.
- The Most Self-Destructive:" 'Army Wives' Star Kim Delaney's Botched Speech at Philadelphia's National Constitution Center"
Paz de la Huerta, meet your future.
- The Funniest: "The Daily Show with Jon Stewart- Moneybrawl"
I would donate to the cause, but I'm just fresh out of money after donating all my life savings to the Colbert SuperPAC.
- The Best Lip Dubbing: "Rick Perry- A BLR Soundbite"
Basically, it's a video of a guy putting words in Rick Perry's mouth during various speeches that eerily synch together. Ironically, "save the pretzels for the gas jets" is single-handily better than anything the Texas governor has already said in his campaign.
- The Most Awesome: "Reality Hits You Hard Bro"
He and Bennett Presser should work together on creating a nationwide inspirational speech tour this winter. There's no doubt in my mind that 90% of its listeners would want to immediately change their life.
Reveal of the Month: The Alledged Faces of "Anonymous"
Wow! They look...exactly how I thought they would!
Sports Moment of the Month: The Final Day of the MLB Regular Season
It's been a week, and I still haven't gotten over how awesome it was. If only there were more sets of meaningful games as the ones featured on 09/28.
Persons of the Month: Scientists at the CERN Institute
There comes a rare in point in time when a scientific finding is released that is not only startling, but could potentially revolutionize the way we look at the way the world works, like Darwin's "Origin of Species" or Stephen Hawking's black hole theories. What these scientists at the world's largest physics lab in Europe found on the day of September 22nd may very well be one of those findings, one that could potentially make the theories of one of history's greatest scientists obsolete.
According to the findings, they have found and recorded the existence of sub-atomic particles called neutrinos, particles which can actually travel faster than the speed of light! How is this discovery big? Well, if this is indeed true, it could actually prove false one of the greatest theories ever created in scientific history: that of Albert Einstein's famous 1905 theory of relatively. Just think about that for a second. One of the world's most famous equations (E=MC2), one that made Einstein world-famous (arguably the most famous scientist ever) since -and, apparently, the Person of the 20th Century- might have very well been upended, since one of its fundamental pillars is the belief that there is absolutely nothing in this universe faster than the speed of light. Holy cow.
Now that CERN scientists have done their job, they're now asking other scientists around the world to verify the measurements before officially proclaiming it a fact. After all, there have been times in the past where Einstein's theory was supposedly proven wrong, only for those findings to be overturned. In addition, Antonio Eraditato, spokesperson for the researchers, stated that while their is a tiny difference between the speed of neutrinos and the speed of light (60 billionths per second less to be exact), the finding is conceptually important and that "everyone should be prudent" as a result. However, if it does turn out that these CERN scientists were right, and that physics as we know might change forever, may I be just one of many to congratulate these researchers for what they have accomplished. After all, it's not everyday where the man used as a reference to smart people everywhere can be proven wrong for his most famous accomplishment.
-Runner-ups: Rick Perry, Mitt Romney, the people working on "Modern Family," Brett Cummins, the people that experienced Facebook F8 2011 (according to everyone that was there, at least), football fans, Ashton Kutcher.
And that, as we say in the writing business, is that. Hope you enjoyed it. And now, if you'll excuse me, I've got a DVRed episode of "Parks and Recreations" to catch up on.
Sincerely,
Your pal: mj15
If you have any opinions on today's post, or if you just have any suggestions or tips for my next blog entry, e-mail me at: mj1599@aol.com. Your e-mails are greatly appreciated.
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